There is a knock at the door. It is a delivery man. He is holding a six-foot seven-inch cardboard cutout of a man. I sign the delivery man's receipt book and take the six-foot seven-inch mystery man into the kitchen. There is a card attached to it. It is from the girl I love with all my heart. The card reads: This is a life-size cardboard cutout of my boyfriend. As you can see, he is very handsome. And quite muscular.
I look at the cardboard man leaning against my freezer, light a cheap cigarette, and start to cry.