Met a girl I used to know. Have a drink. Stuff in the air. Ask about her current fortune. She shakes her head. I light a cigarette and remember the past. Passionate. Car crash. Hanging on for both our lives. How about you, she asks. I shake my head. Lonely, she sighs, licking her pink glistening lips with the tip of her tongue. I nod. Stuff in the air.
I know want she's thinking. But it wouldn't work. She likes bastards. I wouldn't stand a chance. Broken in two. Torn to pieces. Sip my drink. Contemplate sleeping around. Ignoring her needs. Treat em mean. Pretend I don't give a fuck. Spend the day impressing mates. Ignore the phone calls. I know how to do it - I just don't like the rules. She licks her lips once more. I smile. She smiles. Stuff in the air.
I watch her reminisce. I gave her stuff. Stuff the bastards could never give. I made her feel. Really feel. I noticed the tiniest things about her. I made her question the reason she sleeps with six-foot shaven-headed ice blocks that leave her crying on the floor. She smiles at me. I smile at her. Stuff in the air. Fucking hell.
Then it begins. Sucks me in. Pushes me away. She licks her lips more slowly this time. Allowing the wine to linger a little longer. Begins to play with the chain around her neck. Smiles. Doesn't say a word. Not a single word. Just leaves me hanging. Waiting. Wanting. Say something. Anything. Nothing. Not a single word. Then with one dismissive shake of the head, she pushes me away once more. Torn to pieces. Broken in two. She just laughs. She just laughs.
Time to go. Just one more, she begs. Still playing with the possible maybes. Life. Politics. Teenage nightmares laying naked on the table. She is amazing. Fucking amazing. If only she knew. But she doesn't know. That's why she likes bastards. Treat em mean. Torn to pieces. Playing with fire. Stuff in the air. She smiles at me. I hold back the tears. Time to go. Time to go.
awww i still love this! how come you reposted it???
Posted by: Rachel | February 24, 2007 at 11:15 AM
In awe, took me back to when I was alive and feelings weren't dulled by the passage of time.
Posted by: The Grocer | February 25, 2007 at 07:21 AM
What an interesting time to describe. Reminds me that life is way too competitive.
Posted by: Okgenuine | March 01, 2007 at 07:39 PM
Andre you pierce my heart. Seriously. Write a book. Please.
"I know how to do it. I just don't like the rules." My most recent platform. It's time for the rule book to be thrown out so we can all just cut the crap.
I went for the bastards too. I fell for a bastard. Finally I can say never again.. nice guys only from here on out!!
Posted by: Jacqueline | April 23, 2007 at 07:19 AM
touches me deeply. knew a guy who thought me to like bastards and he went away. but he was wrong. I've changed. that was the reason I met him up. I had no chance but I accepted his decision. tears for you. and me.
Posted by: scarbo | June 29, 2007 at 07:55 AM
i am very glad that you have re-posted this.
incredibly powerful.
xx
Posted by: annie | June 29, 2007 at 08:05 AM
Keep breathing.
Posted by: fiona | June 29, 2007 at 08:15 AM
I just am too scared of big cities to think straight.
You're okay, I hope xx
Posted by: guyana-gyal | June 29, 2007 at 08:42 AM
love the rewrite of this, you just keep getting better don't you? x
Posted by: Rachel | June 29, 2007 at 10:45 AM
ouch
Posted by: greyratt | June 29, 2007 at 11:03 AM
I can hardly breathe... I can hardly see as my eyes are rainy...
I've to go for a walk...
nice job Andre
Posted by: Shobeir | June 29, 2007 at 01:14 PM
Knew I'd seen some of this before. This post was one of the reasons I started blogging.
Thanks again.
Posted by: Mr Farty | June 29, 2007 at 06:21 PM
absolutely moving. once more. again, capture that moment and bang. a splendourous rendition... minds racing. i am glad you have written more.
Posted by: miles away | July 01, 2007 at 11:46 PM
x
Posted by: Cheerful One | July 02, 2007 at 04:38 AM
Very moving the first time. Just as moving the second time. Sometimes, fiddling is absolutely necessary to bring gems like this back to the forefront.
Posted by: An Unreliable Witness | July 02, 2007 at 04:50 AM
This was the first piece I have read from this blog. Moving.
Posted by: tolga | July 02, 2007 at 06:06 PM
*waves*
Amazing. Possibly your best work yet.
I like the nice guys, but they don't like me. They seem to prefer the bitches.
And I know how to do it, but I don't like the rules either.
Posted by: Dawn | July 02, 2007 at 10:10 PM
This is so beautiful.
Posted by: mickey | July 05, 2007 at 04:55 AM
superb. lucky i found this website through stumble upon.
Posted by: fahdy | July 06, 2007 at 08:16 AM
Beautiful. Reminded me of 'The Fountain' for some reason. Thank you.
Posted by: Shem | July 08, 2007 at 02:56 AM
I happened to stumble upon your blog, which i found fascinating by the way.I also write and find many thrills and wonderful pleasures within in. i also have an obsession with reading and within all my readings, i have never come across something that i found as beautiful and bitter sweet as what you have written here. honestly, the way that you create such a reality through the thoughts the race within you, and the way that it all collides to one bitter sweet escape of memories and the loss of the one you love is brilliant. i'm absolutely amazed by you.
Posted by: kristen | July 16, 2007 at 12:53 AM