I awake at 8am. Suddenly I feel the first thought of the day festering in my brain. I use all my superhuman powers, and resist the temptation to listen to it.
Many moons ago, my therapist explained that one's first thought of the day was critical. 'That first thought' she insisted, 'would send the powers of Quantum Physics into a hive of activity. Your first thought, would inevitably become the destiny of your day'.
In the bad old days, when I still suffered from 'The Depressions', my first thought of the day would normally be a negative one: I am an idiot. Everyone hates me. I shall never wander through a perfumed-lady-garden ever again, I might as well have been born a Jessie. I am doomed, etc, etc, etc. And sure enough, the rest of my day would prove to be a disaster.
I get out of my bed and wander to my kitchen. I turn on my laptop and make a coffee. [Still no thought - has been thought]. I pour my Fairtrade Costa Rican coffee into my favorite mug, look to see how many emails I have received from my adoring FANS, and make my way to the bench in my garden. [Still no thought - has been thought]. I light a cigarette, and as I inhale the first nicotine-fumes of the day, I think: It seems to me, that the life of an Eskimo Man would be a marvelous life to lead. I bet there aren't any borderline-personality-disorder females knocking on his door asking: Would you like to spend a wild-weekend away with me – in Cornwall – in a pink tent - no catch, in Eskimo Land. Oh how I should like to live in such an uncomplicated place.
I drink the rest of my coffee in silence and contemplate what Quantum Physics might do, with the first thought of my day.
Do all your fans live in Canada?
Posted by: isabelle | June 29, 2006 at 07:52 AM
I bet she hasn't turned up yet. Has she?
Posted by: alcessa | June 29, 2006 at 07:52 AM
No isabelle - the other two live in London
Alcessa - who hasn't turned up? the female who wishes to whisk me away to Cornwall? No she hasn't turned up ... and anyway I can't go away ... am very very busy.
So Girls ... what was your first thought of the day?
Posted by: andre | June 29, 2006 at 07:57 AM
The chickens are clucking, I must let them out.....
Posted by: isabelle | June 29, 2006 at 08:01 AM
The chickens - Do you live on a farm?
How rural.
Posted by: andre | June 29, 2006 at 08:09 AM
rural , yes.
farm, no.
And just the two chickens, one of whom is blind and has stopped laying.
Posted by: isabelle | June 29, 2006 at 08:20 AM
Maybe the blind one who has stopped laying, is a poorly sighted Cockrel?
Posted by: andre | June 29, 2006 at 08:23 AM
No, she's a hen, she used to lay eggs. Unfortunately she is also called Specks which seems a bit harsh given her current condition.
Posted by: isabelle | June 29, 2006 at 08:25 AM
All I can say is - thank god you didn't call her 'frigid' - as that would have been really harsh ... given her current condition.
Posted by: andre | June 29, 2006 at 08:30 AM
My first thought of the day was "I wish I hadn't dreamed about Bono making me sing 'Beauty school drop out' in a karaoke competition last night. Oh how I wish I didn't now have it going round interminably in my head." My day has been correspondingly filled with anguish. I'd rather think about chickens.
Posted by: rachie | June 29, 2006 at 08:31 AM
Yes Rachie - fridgid chickens - need our thoughts [and prayers]
Posted by: andre | June 29, 2006 at 08:34 AM
My first thought of the day was "I see it isn't Saturday yet", which is one of my standard thoughts and the time expression is to be replaced to suit the purpose (holiday, June, midnight, noon).
Posted by: alcessa | June 29, 2006 at 09:23 AM
My first thought: Shit I'd better get up.
*repeat Monday - Friday*
What was yours?
Actually one of my first thoughts this morning was how you could get your doodles on the market.
Loyal fan y'see
Posted by: Lucie | June 29, 2006 at 09:36 AM
My first thought of the day (as per the last few weeks) was that I wished Chris Moyles and his band of merry men would talk of something other than football for even one minute.
Posted by: thecatgirlspeaks | June 29, 2006 at 09:47 AM
first thought of the day 'festering' -- I love it....
Posted by: jasmine | June 29, 2006 at 11:46 AM
Hello Jasmine - I hope you, and your family are well.
Festering sort of sums it up really.
Hello thecatgirlspeaks - I do not listen to the radio in the morning - I find radio people way too happy for my liking... not that I am fooled by their happy charade - oh no.
Posted by: andre | June 29, 2006 at 11:55 AM
Well hello to you too - from Canada (yes, I speak for all 30 million of us)
Posted by: skiergirl | June 29, 2006 at 12:16 PM
My first thought when the alarm goes off is usually 'Don't make me, don't make me'.
Tomorrow morning however I may still be laughing about 'Hello Canada'.
Posted by: Cheerful One | June 29, 2006 at 01:47 PM
It is a wise old blogger that thanks his bestest fans.
Posted by: andre | June 29, 2006 at 01:55 PM
My first thought of today...
Damn...i'm all out of Percocet.
Hardly payed to get up today.
Posted by: Darcy | June 29, 2006 at 02:46 PM
My first thought was R18. I have fallen head over hells in love with the god of wine. He smells of soap and sunshine. We are lost in each others' eyes and butterflies dance in my stomach...
Posted by: cosmosgirl | June 29, 2006 at 05:15 PM
Meant to spell "head over heels"... Time for another coffee.
Posted by: cosmosgirl | June 29, 2006 at 05:18 PM
head over hells sounds quite exciting
Posted by: andre | June 29, 2006 at 06:20 PM
Do you know that Eskimos lend their wives to their guests as a sign of hospitality? (I heard that way back when I was little so don't ask me about the source hehee). Life is not easy up there.
Oh no not again! That's the first words I utter every morning. I think I have to change that to something more creative. I'm learning from you, André.
Posted by: Joy | June 30, 2006 at 02:53 AM
ooh, If I had a wife, I would not lend her out... I would treasure her, like I do my machintosh computer
Posted by: andre | June 30, 2006 at 02:59 AM
I tink I tink too much.
But den, my mother says *mad people* [like wot we have here on de streets] don't tink, dat is why dey're *mad.*
sigh.
Posted by: guyana-gyal | June 30, 2006 at 11:35 AM