Humdrum: Pets

I once owned two Russian Hamsters. I do not recall their names. One day, I came home from school to find them swinging in the curtains. They were quite clearly dead.

To cheer me up my mother bought me a secondhand dog, called Bonnie. Bonnie really loved me. But every day she would runaway to my Bearded Granny’s house; whom I later found out was buying Bonnie’s affection with chocolate. Eventually Bonnie got so fat she simply fell over and died.

Next, I got a rabbit. In one brief summer, it had 427 babies. My father, at his wits end, decided we should ‘set them free’ in the local woods - which we did.

I then got a skateboard.

Comments

[pink]

*resists urge to make a pussy joke*

:)

[Jezebel]

I once killed my gerbils by mistake.

[andre]

did you blame your sister?

[thecatgirlspeaks]

Russian hamsters are in league with Satan - I almost lost a finger to one of those beasts as a child.

[SL]

I had a hamster. It escaped. It lived in the eaves of the house for at least 6 years. Or something did...

[mag]

I had a hedgehog. He was wounded and lived in my wardrobe. He was the only creature my cat was afraid of. After a week or two the wounds healed and my "uncle" took him away. I hope the headgehog found his way back to the life he belonged to.

[guyana-gyal]

My sister and brothers had 1 parrot; 13 or 14 cats; 2,3,4 dogs; 1 turtle; 1 injured hummingbird.

I had none.

Did your skateboard die?

[andre]

No my skateboard didn't die - but I eventually lost interest in it, and replaced it with a BMX bike

[Gordon]

My niece, when she was younger... about 6... killed 5 goldfish in a row. None of the poor buggers lasted longer than a few days. Took us ages to figure out the reason.

Apparently she thought they deserved to see a little more of the world and would take them for walks round the house. The sixth goldfish lasted longer as her Mum walked into her bedroom just as she was showing her latest goldfish her collection of dolls.

[Jenny]

I had a sweet fuzzy cat named Smokey when I was a little girl. One day I pulled it's tail and it went away. My parents told me that it followed the neighbor girl to school. Later in life I realized that they were probably lying. Anyway, after that they would only allow me to have boring pets like fish. I finally convinced them to allow me to have a hamster that I affectionately named "Puffy." I even got one of those fancy cages with a wheel and a cozy plastic ball-shaped chamber to sleep in. All he ever did was hang out in the plastic ball and perform fellatio on himself. At first it was funny to watch, then it just got boring. I decided to just take him to the woods and let him go. I think we were both entirely too bored with life.

[andre]

Gordon - well at least she killed them in the nicest possible way

Jenny - I seem to remember my hamsters having one of those fancy cages - fat lot of good it was - they kept escaping - hence brutal death in curtains.

[Celeste]

My first pets were silk worms (massive craze when I was a tot in South Africa). My younger sister decided they looked thirsty so poured a glass of water into their box.

Needless to say they all died and there was no silk worm called noah, no mulberry leaves going into a silk arc two by two.

I get a lump n my throat just thinking of it.

Poor things.

[andre]

Celeste - I feel your pain

[susan]

as a child, i had monica, the world's longest living white mouse. i found out many years later that my mother used to buy a new one whenever the current one went to mousey heaven. i never caught on, even after seeing my sister take 'monica' out of a box and put her in the mousehouse. i asked her what was going on and believed her when she told me that she had taken the mouse for a walk to the shops. i was a very stupid child.

[Anji]

We had a Russian hamster too, she died two years ago this month 'sniff'

[wordsmith]

I never had a pet...i feel like a vital part of childhood was denied to me..

and now when people play those games where they make up a porn star name using a combination of ur 1st pet and other stuff, im totally left out

the closest thing i had was a big land snail and lots of little ones. in nigeria (as a tot), we eat the big land snails and i found an empty shell, thinking if i fed the little ones lots of leaves, at least one of them must grow enough to feel the need to move house (even then i believed in the laws of probability), the ultimate purpose of this was to eat them....soooooo wrong!

[Tired Dad]

Yes - the doodles/works of art would be enough on their own. Have you seen the guy who does his doodles in the Guardian? You win. But added with text - you rule. And thanks for looking - I am mean of spirit but still welcome the attention.

[Robin]

How did you know your hamsters were Russian, did they have an accent?
never had a skateboard but had several cars that died.