a beautiful revolution: blog

illusions of the pen

Before you read any more of my words, I feel there are a couple of things you should know. firstly, I have, in the past, suffered from the depressions [but I'm all right now] and secondly, I am a very lonely person and I have done all I can, in writing this blog, to make myself look more attractive to the female persons.

Thank you.

You may now continue reading  ...

Humdrum: Professional

I asked, 'What is your occupation?'

She replied, 'I am a checkout girl'

She asked, 'What is your occupation?'

I replied, 'I am a professional photographer. I walk up to things and photograph them for clients who feel unable to do it themselves'

She was very impressed.

Humdrum: Rejection

We chatted for a while.

I asked, 'Would you like to go for a coffee?'

She replied, 'No thank you'.

Our conversation petered out and we went our separate ways.

Humdrum: Weird

Number of steps required to get from settee to kitchen - 20.

Number of steps required to get from kitchen back to settee - 22?

Humdrum: Shiny

I bought myself a Dvd player from Woolworth's today.

Unfortunately, I don't have any Dvd's to play on it and the instruction book makes no sense whatsoever.

Despite this, I am very pleased with my purchase.

I am brave

I fear no one but God and Jesus and Jesus Fundamentalists and Skinheads and school-children and jellyfish and females who have the periods and fox-hunters and idiots that read the Daily Mail and anyone who uses the word 'affirmative'. Beware the people who use the word 'affirmative' - they are lunatics.

A Fundamentalist Called Dave

'Do you believe in miracles?' asks Dave, my Christian-fundamentalist friend, as we sit in a cafe discussing religion. We always talk about religion when we meet. As Dave once said 'I'm the only non-believer he knows - likes - and he finds it very interesting to hear how the people on the 'other side' see things'

'Yes I do believe in miracles' I say

Dave, slightly shocked by my reply, pushes me a little further 'so tell me something you would consider to be a miracle?'

'Me having sexual intercourse with a lady-person before christmas would be truly miraculous' I laugh

'No' insists Dave 'that wouldn't be a miracle ... it would simply be fate ... true miracles are performed by God ... they are unexplainable ... tell me what you would consider to be a true miracle performed by God?'

I could tell Dave was being serious, and so I thought very carefully for a moment, then said 'you having sexual intercourse with a lady-person before christmas'

Dave laughed and laughed and laughed.

Despite his Christian-fundamentalist ways, Dave has a great sense of humour.

Humdrum: Sex

I am really missing the sex.

I think I might be a sex maniac.

I have been able to think of little else since Tuesday.