Today my Mother said, and I quote: you're a lovely person, you really are, but I think it's high time you finally accepted the fact that a complicated boy such as yourself is never going to attract a 'normal girlfriend' ... why don't you give that pink anti-war activist with the furry hat a second chance?
My own Mother.
I am inconsolable.
Aw.
That's awful.
Could be worse, I suppose.
My Mum thinks I'm a lesbian.
Posted by: Maryyyy | February 20, 2006 at 05:15 PM
inappropriate comment:
excepted -> accepted
inconsolably -> inconsolable
Also, is a "normal girlfriend" supposed to be anti peace, according to your mother?
Posted by: kermit | February 20, 2006 at 05:17 PM
oh fuck!!!
but the things that strikes me more than anything is this: why would she even say that?!
you got my email, baby x
Posted by: pink | February 20, 2006 at 05:28 PM
thanks kermit
Posted by: andre | February 20, 2006 at 05:30 PM
Pink - Too be fair to her - she did actually mean it in a nice way - I think?
Posted by: andre | February 20, 2006 at 05:32 PM
oh am sure she did... my question, however, still stands.
Posted by: pink | February 20, 2006 at 06:06 PM
I have left strict instructions to my children to shoot me if I ever start saying things like that.
My own mother makes yours look like the Queen of Tact. You have my every sympathy - it is a testament to how nice a person you are that you are willing to be generous about her motives.
Would you want to be uncomplicated? Doesn't seem to fit very well with man of mystery...
Posted by: snowqueen | February 20, 2006 at 06:25 PM
I attempt to console you. "Console!" There! Feeling better? No need to thank me. It's a talent of mine, (blush) that I have pledged to use to heal the wounded and weary of the blogosphere (Is that a proper noun? Should I have capitalized? - worry.)
Posted by: Sami Zahringer | February 20, 2006 at 06:44 PM
My mother is even more supportive "you've postgraduate degree, someone will take interest in you yet" she used to say (when I still felt need to clue her in meandres of my personal life which sadly is no longer the case):)
Posted by: mag | February 20, 2006 at 07:16 PM
i think you're ace!
we like your work down here...
i have horns!
Posted by: satan | February 20, 2006 at 10:21 PM
Hi Andre,
Mothers....grrrrr. They are always trying to be so helpful, yet they almost inevitably say or do the wrong thing.
You'll be fine. I still don't understand how someone as handsome and sweet as you is single....are all the women in England nuts or something??? And to top it off, we have decided you'd be ace in bed...so what's the deal??? Well, actually..a previous post could indicate some bedroom action....well, we can hope. Ummm, am I rambling here? I shall shut up now. Point was...i'm sure your mum was just trying to be helpful. Yeah...that was my point.
Thanks again for the favor you did for me Andre...you are ace...and I love the stuffing out of you.
Posted by: Darcy | February 21, 2006 at 03:05 AM
I don't know.
Would be horrified personally if my mother sat me down and told me she thought me ordinary enough to give that nice young insurance man that lives next door a chance.
Posted by: Jack | February 21, 2006 at 03:38 AM
Jack - I have no desire to pull a humdrum 'normal girlfriend' but the idea that I couldn't even if I wanted to has left me feeling slightly cross.
Darcy - I AM AN IDIOT and as I told Laura from http://aftertheratrace.blogspot.com/ I AM RUBBISH IN BED too
Satan - 'we have horns' was very funny
Sami - I tend to capitalize when making V. Important points
SnowQueen - yes I would like to try uncomplicated - but not boring - slightly mad but not a nutter is my ideal
Posted by: andre | February 21, 2006 at 05:16 AM
Here's my MS-EN* translation:
"you're a lovely person, you really are, but I think it's high time you finally accepted the fact that a complicated boy such as yourself is never going to attract a 'normal girlfriend' ... why don't you give that pink anti-war activist with the furry hat a second chance?"
"you're a lovely person, you really are, and you have special qualities, including being a creative genius, that not everyone can see on first acquaintance. I hate to see you unhapy as a single man so why don't you widen the net and reconsider wonderfully creative females like the one with the furry hat?"
* MS->EN = Mumspeak to English
Posted by: Daisy | February 21, 2006 at 10:18 AM
I think that's a wonderful thing your mother said, you should feel chuffed, I think she's saying your complex i.e. far from boring and a 'normal' i.e. mindless sheep is not for you, would be a mistake, you would soon feel stifled with one of those.
you don't have to follow the herd
I think your reading what she said the wrong way and she clearly saw some compatibility with the girl she mentioned (and she liked the furry hat too I think)
Posted by: Robin | February 21, 2006 at 10:59 AM
Yes this is all very lovely - but the girl my mother wants me to date is completely bonkers in the head [mind you she does have a lovely bottom]
Posted by: andre | February 21, 2006 at 11:14 AM
ummmmmmmmmm am now thinking about girl with furry hats lovely bottom ....
Posted by: andre | February 21, 2006 at 11:16 AM
Well, at least you dont have to worry yourself with finding someone up to mother's standards.
Posted by: alfredsmom | February 21, 2006 at 12:06 PM
You got something against bonkers in the head people or something! we...they're the most interesting and fun of all (with or without furry hats)
Posted by: Robin | February 21, 2006 at 12:40 PM
See, I have this horrible feeling that I'd actually rather like my mother more if she said something like that. Instead, she regularly sighs at me - and it's a sigh that expresses immense disappointment and frustration at the state of my life.
So I sigh back, naturally.
Posted by: Vaughan | February 21, 2006 at 02:24 PM
Don’t think I haven’t notice that no one has disagreed with me mother.
I have noticed … I have noticed ... even my fans think I am incapable of dating a ‘normal girl’
Posted by: andre | February 21, 2006 at 02:43 PM
Your not listening are you, we all KNOW you could date a bor..normal girl, recent girlie comments show you to be a babe magnet, but we all know you need someone much more interesting even a bonkers in the head girl (furry hat optional)
Posted by: Robin | February 21, 2006 at 03:10 PM
Wot Robin said, you should feel chuffed and all of that.
Normal? What's normal?
Posted by: guyana-gyal | February 21, 2006 at 03:50 PM
{takes out icicle wand and waves it about} ... and you shall be slightly mad but not a nutter henceforth and so attract eccentrically sweet but not bonkers girls...
Posted by: snowqueen | February 21, 2006 at 05:14 PM
oh - yes - thats the spirit SnowQueen - am I supposed to do anything myself ... hang on a minute ... are you saying I'm slightly mad?
I am not mad - I AM AN IDIOT - there is a big difference.
Posted by: andre | February 21, 2006 at 05:20 PM
If you're an idiot, then I'm a cretin.
Can't find a slighty mad, yet not totally bonkers man here either.
Disheartening, isn't it?
Posted by: Dawn | February 21, 2006 at 07:41 PM
who's normal anyway?
and Daisy has done a wonderful translation of MS-EN. I wonder if there is a web-site that does this? Maybe we could all send in things our mother's have said and ask Daisy to translate them for us??? I think this is a fabulous idea.
And you're NOT AN IDIOT andré.
Posted by: Fa||en | February 24, 2006 at 01:47 AM
I think it's a nice thing to say. It's cute. If I were a mother, I'd say the same. Don't really know how that'd work out, but still.
Posted by: Frankly | January 27, 2008 at 12:08 PM
Is there supposed to be a subliminal message in that?
Posted by: Online Dating Advice | September 02, 2011 at 03:29 AM